have I left it too long?...

Hello (waves tentatively)...I'm still here!  I really don't know why I have fallen out of love with blogging...it's not you, it's me...it's complicated.

I'm putting this picture in to avoid that dreaded beast, the text-only post. It has nothing to do with what I'm saying, but I made it, and it is pretty, so I thought you might like it.

I have been lurking, catching up with some of your blogs, but mainly just getting on with life, which has been the usual mix of delightful and dull, fun and frustrating, creative and crap...though always, on balance, far more of the good than the bad, thankfully.  There has been plenty going on that has been worth sharing, but I just haven't felt like sharing it...here are a few of the reasons why.

1. I am really not that interesting.  I know, I'm still the same person I was last year, when I was blogging  away like a very bloggy thing.  But I am somehow finding myself far less fascinating than I used to (this is probably a good thing).  I think it partially stems from coming across a few amazing and inspiring blogs, which are being written by people going through immensely challenging times.  Blogs like this one.  Somehow, wittering on about vintage fabric just doesn't seem that important after reading about stuff like that.  That's not to say I don't still enjoy reading your blogs about all those lovely vintagey, interiory, lifestyley, scandi-y things, I do.  This sense of mild pointlessness is directed squarely at myself, possibly because...

2.   I feel like a fraud.  I am starting to wish I had called my blog something different.  Like, um, my tiny messy home.  Or my teetering pile of crap.  Or my disorganised life.  Don't get me wrong, my house is full of lovely, colourful vintage things.  That bit is true. But it is even more full of the daily detritus of 4 messy people living in a tiny house.  I am not a tidy person; I do not like housework.  Although I love looking at gorgeously spare, airy interiors, I know that after a couple of weeks of me living in them, they would look a lot like my home does now.  MESSY.  I can aspire to minimalism, but I know I am incapable of achieving it.  This results in my life feeling quite un-blogworthy sometimes!

3.  I am a rubbish blogger.  Not just in terms of posting regularly, and writing interesting posts, but in terms of joining in all the lovely bloggy things that make blogland such a great place.  You know, linkys, awards, sharing the blog love, all of that.  It's not that I don't want to join in, it's that I am either too lazy, or too disorganised, or too shy to join in, so I don't.  And then I feel a bit crap about that.

Here's another picture to reward you for reading this far...it's not even a very good one...I told you I'm not much good at this!

4.  Most importantly, I was getting the balance wrong.  Too much time at the PC, not enough time living in the moment with my  gorgeous kids.  My youngest will be going to pre-school in September, and I did not want to waste my last few months at home with him sticking CBeebies on and farting about on Pinterest, or Blogger, or bloody Facebook.  I love all those sites dearly, and my Rainbow Vintage Home facebook page has been keeping me busy with fabric sales and likers and making lovely new online friends.  But I needed to take a step back. 

So we have been playing, and singing, and camping, and cooking, and making, and I've been buying fabric, and selling fabric, and making stuff with fabric (like the quilt at the top of this post).  But I have been very crap about keeping in touch with you lovely readers, and that has made me feel sad.  Because I genuinely like you, and have really enjoyed meeting you, and sharing with you, and I'd like to carry on doing that. I'm hoping that now I've got all this mildly discombobulating stuff off my chest, I will find it easier to just pop in here a bit more regularly, and share stuff with you without it feeling like a big deal, you know...'Oh now I need to write a blog post about that, what shall I say, oh it's too late now'...

If anyone has stuck with me all the way down to here, thank you, and here's another nice picture for you... 

As you can see, I'm as crap at ironing as I am at blogging!

I really hope you're having a lovely summer, and enjoying this amazing weather that we've been having.  I am going to go now.  But I'll be back soon.  

Rachel xx