Monday, 22 July 2013

have I left it too long?...

Hello (waves tentatively)...I'm still here!  I really don't know why I have fallen out of love with blogging...it's not you, it's me...it's complicated.

I'm putting this picture in to avoid that dreaded beast, the text-only post. It has nothing to do with what I'm saying, but I made it, and it is pretty, so I thought you might like it.
I have been lurking, catching up with some of your blogs, but mainly just getting on with life, which has been the usual mix of delightful and dull, fun and frustrating, creative and crap...though always, on balance, far more of the good than the bad, thankfully.  There has been plenty going on that has been worth sharing, but I just haven't felt like sharing it...here are a few of the reasons why.

1. I am really not that interesting.  I know, I'm still the same person I was last year, when I was blogging  away like a very bloggy thing.  But I am somehow finding myself far less fascinating than I used to (this is probably a good thing).  I think it partially stems from coming across a few amazing and inspiring blogs, which are being written by people going through immensely challenging times.  Blogs like this one.  Somehow, wittering on about vintage fabric just doesn't seem that important after reading about stuff like that.  That's not to say I don't still enjoy reading your blogs about all those lovely vintagey, interiory, lifestyley, scandi-y things, I do.  This sense of mild pointlessness is directed squarely at myself, possibly because...

2.   I feel like a fraud.  I am starting to wish I had called my blog something different.  Like, um, my tiny messy home.  Or my teetering pile of crap.  Or my disorganised life.  Don't get me wrong, my house is full of lovely, colourful vintage things.  That bit is true. But it is even more full of the daily detritus of 4 messy people living in a tiny house.  I am not a tidy person; I do not like housework.  Although I love looking at gorgeously spare, airy interiors, I know that after a couple of weeks of me living in them, they would look a lot like my home does now.  MESSY.  I can aspire to minimalism, but I know I am incapable of achieving it.  This results in my life feeling quite un-blogworthy sometimes!

3.  I am a rubbish blogger.  Not just in terms of posting regularly, and writing interesting posts, but in terms of joining in all the lovely bloggy things that make blogland such a great place.  You know, linkys, awards, sharing the blog love, all of that.  It's not that I don't want to join in, it's that I am either too lazy, or too disorganised, or too shy to join in, so I don't.  And then I feel a bit crap about that.

Here's another picture to reward you for reading this far...it's not even a very good one...I told you I'm not much good at this!

4.  Most importantly, I was getting the balance wrong.  Too much time at the PC, not enough time living in the moment with my  gorgeous kids.  My youngest will be going to pre-school in September, and I did not want to waste my last few months at home with him sticking CBeebies on and farting about on Pinterest, or Blogger, or bloody Facebook.  I love all those sites dearly, and my Rainbow Vintage Home facebook page has been keeping me busy with fabric sales and likers and making lovely new online friends.  But I needed to take a step back. 

So we have been playing, and singing, and camping, and cooking, and making, and I've been buying fabric, and selling fabric, and making stuff with fabric (like the quilt at the top of this post).  But I have been very crap about keeping in touch with you lovely readers, and that has made me feel sad.  Because I genuinely like you, and have really enjoyed meeting you, and sharing with you, and I'd like to carry on doing that. I'm hoping that now I've got all this mildly discombobulating stuff off my chest, I will find it easier to just pop in here a bit more regularly, and share stuff with you without it feeling like a big deal, you know...'Oh now I need to write a blog post about that, what shall I say, oh it's too late now'...

If anyone has stuck with me all the way down to here, thank you, and here's another nice picture for you... 
As you can see, I'm as crap at ironing as I am at blogging!
I really hope you're having a lovely summer, and enjoying this amazing weather that we've been having.  I am going to go now.  But I'll be back soon.  


Rachel xx

25 comments:

  1. Well, I enjoy your blog a lot. I think you have lots of interesting things to say. I also think that it's important to find the right balance between spending time on blogging and attending to everything else in life and that isn't always easy. But like I said, I enjoy your blog and I'll still be around whenever you're ready to write a new post. :)

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    1. Well thank you Jennifer, that's lovely to know. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment! :) x

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  2. Are you possibly having a case of the "compare myself to everyone else" blues? I've done that before, I still do, and it only leaves you feeling rubbish. It's great that you've taken some time away from the pc, breaks are always important, but please don't call your space or yourself rubbish. You have a beautiful blog that reflects your interests and your brightly coloured personality. Isn't the point of having a little space is so you can do what you want with it? Find a balance that you're comfortable with! I'm speaking like I know what i'm talking about...I don't, i'm just saying what makes sense in my head right now. I hope a little bit of it helps x

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  3. Lovely Rachel ... I too love to read your blog ... you have lots of interesting things to say ... I know what you mean about time and content being an issue ... I wonder too am I boring the pants of my readers ... I love my blog because it gives me a chance to create a sort of diary of the good things happening in life and lets me indulge my crafty side ... I also have my youngest starting school in September and am determined to spend the summer with the littles ... having fun with them and popping in now and again to blogland as well ... anyway this is definitely becoming a little incoherent now but just know I love to see your posts pop up in my reader as and when they appear ... Bee xxx

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  4. There's a big thing many bloggers forget - this whole thing is voluntary and is meant to be fun. For the author. So less of the 'I'm rubbish' and lack of confidence, please! Sorry, perhaps I sound like your mother.......
    Your blog has been massively popular and you've clearly tapped into a great community, and made many friends, and given loads of friendship too. it can't carry on at high intensity forever, and pacing yourself is important, particularly with family demands and the calling of tidying duties (which can perhaps be ignored often....).
    People read your blog because of who you are, not who you pretend to be. And if they don't like it, they don't read it. Their choice. It's a rainbow afterall - which means all aspects of the spectrum not just the happy bright stuff. Sometimes if can be a single shade.
    I look forward to your posts, whenever they appear, and whatever they show.

    But above all, look after yourself in it. These computers contain invisible demonic dementor hamsters that can suck our energy dry. Too much keyboard time and you know the buggers have got you. Then you have to eat lots of ice cream to get rid of them.

    Karin

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  5. Oh Rach this is my favourite post of the year on any blog! It made me laugh as I feel exactly the same and I also have teetering piles of crap in my house. And you are so right about staying off the laptop. I'm having most of the summer off blogging to give myself and my Boy time together. X

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  6. Great post! I love your honesty. Blogging can be too much like hard work sometimes so enjoy your off screen time. x

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  7. Oh Rachel I like to catch up with you through your posts or through facebook... but share what and when you want.... your life is well your life... your blog blog a reflection of that... finding a way to be content with what life throws at you... I for one share your love for fabric and colour...
    Personally I would prefer you to be yourself...to be content in your skin... being a mother, being a partner, being a friend being a fabric lover being a blogger being all that you are........

    Comparing ones blog or life to another is always going to bring things up stuff... great insight to see the areas to maybe work on but not to attach too... Be gentle with yourself lovely Rachel. Hugs Cx

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  8. Oh Rachel....Stop!!!
    ....I am the same....if you could see my house!!
    I never iron...I hoover when its dire....My wardrobe is busting its seams...but who cares....not me, not my nearest and dearest (well My Mum would have something to say I am sure!)

    ...I blog cos I want to and when i don't want to I don't....SIMPLE.

    I read every word of this post cos it was you...wouldn't of done that with everyone!

    I love your pictures...I love your taste...

    so don't worry too much about everything else...enjoy every minute of your kids too....and yes time flies...my son is just about to leave primary school....finding that hard myself

    ....later then darling Rach

    d xxx

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  9. We are all hear dearie! I strongly suspect that many readers (myself included) will be nodding our collective heads and muttering;'Me too....'

    That crap/creative balance is a tricky one - I suffer from the former and lately have woken up anxious about the piles of STUFF - lovely stuff but stuff nonetheless. Life just whizzes by doesn't it and one day you turn around and you become 'the next generation'....so making the most of the now and the today sounds a very, very good idea. Daughter Two will be 14 in a couple of weeks and of course I remember that day she was born so clearly....how can it be possible...make the most of special days with children...it is the best way dearie.

    Keep going and best wishes
    Jenny

    PS: Please remember that most/all/some bloggers (ME) only take photographs of the nice bits....I dust only when it becomes very visible, hoover....once or twice A YEAR...iron...on a 'as needed basis'...I now have NO clothes in my wardrobe (just the stuff) and the few clothes are on chairs..tra la la!!!!!

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    1. That should have read we are all here - but maybe hear is good too!!!

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  10. The balance stuff ... we each have to find our own. But the rest ... I wonder whether those going through tough times don't benefit from the reminders that ordinary life is still happening out there, and if those sharing pica of apparently perfect homes don't need reminders of what lived in homes look like (even though they probably have plenty of reminders just feet away from them too). And does participating ever require more than reading a few blogs and leaving an occasional comment ... it certainly shouldn't! Authenticity ... for me that's about 'voice' - yours is authentic - not the best fitting blog title ... the best bloggers just turn up as them, and everyone loves them for it. Even when we have minimal interest in vintagey, Scandi stuff ;)

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  11. I am forever reminding myself that if I am otherwise occupied with my home and family, I do not HAVE to blog regularly. It takes away from the fun of it if it becomes an obligation. I have also found that taking a break altogether from my blog has helped me to be excited about it all over again. Best wishes, Rachel. Do what's right for you and try not to be so hard on yourself! :)

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  12. Oh Rachel, I agree with so many of the things you have written. Enjoy your time with the children while they are small they grow up so quickly. Blogging should be fun and not a chore do it when you feel like it not because you feel you have to, that's my philosophy anyway. It's good to have you back but it's nice to know that real life is top of your priorities too ... Have a wonderful happy summer ~ Sarah x

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  13. But isn't that the beauty of blogging? Do as you please...no race or rules. I'm beginning to sound like my poem, (Blog On). Do come back, I like you. Eco Ethel XX PS What's an iron?

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  14. Glad you are back - just one query--- what is an iron??????

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  15. Love it you lovely lady!! Well, not that you're feeling rubbish of course, but great post, and agree with so much! I'm guilty of showing the 'good' bits but I do bit because when I'm feeling crap, I can look back and remember there really is good in every day, I'm capable of doing great things (sometimes), and when it's rubbish, putting a positive spin on it and minimising it makes me feel better about it. Go and have sooper duper summer in the sun. Look forward to pop ins when they pop, hugs xxx

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  16. Lovely to read how you are feeling. I was only thinking of you today as I battled through the traffic to get to the saleroom. Do enjoy the summer with your family...switch off the laptop...winter months will soon come around and those dark evenings are the time to blog & faff with Fb. I am turning this off now & making my way to the garden to enjoy the evening sun!!! Liz x

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  17. I love this post! I get feelings like 'why am I even doing any of this' all the time. Barely anyone even reads my blog (and I believe my name is mentioned in the dictionary under boring) but sometimes it just makes me happy to share. Blogs are just that, places to share what you're thinking and doing. So many people have made them advertisement pages, but that's not fun. Real people, living amongst beautiful things partially hidden by piles of junk, sharing fun, and sometimes boring, stories and thoughts. Just like tea and a chat with a real person, you know? :)

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  18. Oh Rachel I love your blog, no matter how frequently you post! Your voice comes over loud and clear and you sound just lovely. I am constanly in a dither about blogging but love it too much to stop. Yes it is about balance, and it's a juggle sometimes fitting it in around daily life but you made the right decision to step back when you felt it was right. You might blog more frequently in the future, you might not - we will all still love you. x

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  19. I blog because it helps me focus on all the good things in life instead of dwelling on problems. Life is rarely picture perfect and if it is...well then there is more under the surface. I don't see myself as a fraud just a girl choosing to dance in the rain instead of cursing the clouds. I love your posts and your bright creations like the quilt you show here, they make me smile and get inspired! Thank you for that. All the best, blessings Pam

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  20. Ah bless you, it's hard isn't it, feeling like everyone else is in top of the bloggy game while you're lagging behind, trying to pluck interesting things to write about them not writing anything at all! I've had to step back too and try to find a balance with everything. My 52 weeks of happy project fell by the wayside this year :-(

    I love Teetering Pile of Crap as a blog title, in fact I may steal it ;-) Housework? What's that then? The only part of my home lovingly dusted or ironed is my sewing machine and fabrics. And aren't we all guilty of popping CBeebies on when we want to blog/Pin/Facebook/Tweet etc... I know I am but like you, stepping back from that because all too soon, they will be in custody of school 5 days a week.

    Onwards and upwards eh? Are you going to the Balloon Fiesta this weekend? We can't wait for the night glow and fireworks! Xxxx

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  21. Hi Rachel, thanks for the photos!! I read to the end, but the photos were appreciated. Ditto to everything you said. I've been in the same boat recently (only posted today, first time in weeks and weeks) and not nearly as eloquently as you (I almost pretended there wasn't much of a time delay!!) Love popping in here : -) Ciao, ciao!! Trudy

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  22. Ah Rachel, you are a one!
    I'm so with you on all those shameful bloggy feelings of guilt, and fraudulence, and crapness... I get them all myself more often than I care to admit. But whilst my lad is busy doing other things I mostly find my blog therapeutic, and find it adds a bit of motivation and structure to my propensity for pfaffing about being disorganised, general time-wasting and days spent achieving nothing.
    I know that if lad was a few years younger I would have neither the time nor the desire to blog. And I may not have the time forever, so I try to make the most of lad, and the time I have without him, doing things (like blogging) that I like to do.
    Life is too short to spend most of it doing stuff that doesn't make you happy. Go with the flow. And tell people about it only as often as you can be arsed to. :) That's not being crap, it's the only way to live. x

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